Non-reviews!

I don't feel like reviewing new comics this week, so I'm just posting some cool images from comics that came out:



From Dwight T. Albatross's The Goon Noir #3 (of 3). It took me a second to figure out what these characters were (I'm slow, okay?), but then my reaction was, "Oh, gross! Humorously gross, but gross nonetheless." I'm very articulate in my visceral reactions. Writer Brian Posehn and artist Tony Moore are disturbingly ruthless in their treatment of these poor fellas; in their brief appearance, they get punched, stepped on, kicked, impaled, and flattened by a car. Ouch.
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From The Eternals #6 (of 7). That's just freaky.
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Hey, Dr. Strange! What's a good philosophy to live by?



Thanks! (From Dr. Strange: The Oath #4 (of 5))
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Man, I don't know what it is with Crossing Midnight. It seems like a book I should like, with stuff like this (From issue #3) happening:





But for some reason I'm not feeling it. I might or might not buy the next issue.
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From Mouse Guard #6 (of 6). Man, this was the highlight of the week for me. Badass fighting mice. What else can you ask for? I can't wait for the second Mouse Guard miniseries!
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So there's my comments for this week. Stay tuned for more content!

I think I'll call this "100 Arrows"

I recently finished reading volume 10 of 100 Bullets, and I got thinking about the huge cast of characters and all the connections between them. So I decided to make a sort of "character map", thinking it would be something cool to post on the ol' blog. Here's what I came up with (by the way, spoilers for the entire series up to issue #75):

The Great 100 Bullets Character Map:
(Click to enlarge)



As you can probably figure out, a red "X" through someone's picture or name means they are dead, and the red arrows point from the killer (or, in one case, the attempted killer) to the killee. I did this the low-tech way (obviously), putting pencil to paper to write everything out and draw the arrows. Sorry if it looks amateurish; I hope my writing is legible. I also scanned in pictures of all the characters, then printed them, cut them out, and glued them onto the page. It took a good deal of work, but I'm pretty pleased with the result. I don't know Photoshop or have any experience with drawing programs, but if I ever get one, I might try to redo this in electronic form; that would look much nicer.

So, my question is, is this of interest anyone but me? For that matter, does it make any sense to anyone but me? Any comments or suggestions? If you're a reader of 100 Bullets, please let me know. By the way, since I've only read through volume 10, please don't spoil anything for me past issue #75. Thanks!

"I wonder if she howls or hisses!"

Via The Comics Curmudgeon, I just found out this cool bit of news: In celebration of Milton Caniff's 100th birthday, the comics site Humorousmaximus.com is running Steve Canyon, daily, in order from the first strip! That's pretty awesome. You can read the current strip here. The first strip is on 1/22/07. I've heard about Steve Canyon and the awesome adventure strips that newspapers used to run, but I haven't read many of them. I think I've read a little Alley Oop, and maybe some Flash Gordon. So this is a really cool opportunity to check out one of the classics. Maybe they'll follow it up with Terry and the Pirates. That would be awesome. Anyway, from the first week, I love the 40's dialogue the characters use. Check out these panels from the first Sunday strip:



I love that stuff. So my advice is to read it! And, just because I thought they were cool, here's some excerpts from the promo pictures the site ran before they started running the strip:



"The 'planesman' of the air"! I love it! And I'll have to remember the name "Feeta-Feeta" if I ever have a daughter.

A city founded by secret knights?

Hey, everybody! Wanna do something cool, help somebody out, and get some good comics? Then check this out: Templar, Arizona is a really cool, high-quality webcomic, and the author, a girl who goes by the name Spike, wants to publish a print version. Here's where you can help out; in her own words:

"So here's the deal.

"I want to publish Templar, Arizona on paper. But I can't, because that costs money. It costs three thousand dollars, and I don't have three thousand dollars to spare. So I want to try something ridiculously optimistic and potentially humiliating.

"The quote from the printer for 1,000 7.5 x 6, two-color, 112-page collections of Templar, Arizona's first chapter, first Intermission, and bonus material (footnotes, foreword, sketches) is about $3,000. If I charge $15.00 a copy, that means 200 people have to buy a copy before I break even.

"I want those 200 people to consider buying a copy now."

I met Spike last year at an anime convention at the University of Chicago, and got a free "ashcan" sampler of Templar, Arizona. Here's some sample images:





That giant Jimmy Carter statue is awesome. Spike has a great sense of humor; I love the subversive digs at society that she throws into the comic, and the characters are quirky and well-realized. You can check out the comic by following the above link, and if you're interested, go here to pre-order the printed version of the comic. I'm off to do so right now!

Getcher FREE comics! Come one, come all!

So Newsarama has a list of all the comics available on this year's Free Comic Book Day (May 5). Here's the ones that interest me, or that I feel like commenting about:



Whiteout #1 - I've never read this series, but I've heard it's good. Maybe I'll get it.



Micky Mouse - Yeah, Floyd Gottfredson! That guy was awesome. I'll definitely get this.



Amazing Spider-Man: Swing Shift - This one's by Dan Slott and Phil Jimenez, so it'll probably be good.



The Unseen Peanuts - Over 100 Peanuts strips that have never been collected. Cool!



Nexus Special - I've only read one issue of Nexus; I picked it up recently, trying to discover what all the fuss is about. I'll try to review it sometime. Anyway, this is either the beginning of or a precursor to a new miniseries that is "an ideal jumping-on spot for new readers." I guess I should read it then.



Owly & Korgi - Ah, Owly. Paragon of cuteness, bane of Greg Burgas. I've never been able to get into Owly, but my wife loves it, and so do any kids that I see read it. It's a good "gateway" comic.



Viper Comics Presents: Josh Howard's Sasquatch and More - I don't care about most of this stuff (especially Josh Howard; I don't see what the big deal is about him), but there's a preview of The Middleman volume 3! Actually, I'll probably just wait to read that one until it comes out.



Virgin Comics Sampler - I'll probably check this out, since a lot of Virgin's stuff intrigues me, but not enough to invest the money in it. Jog says Ramayan 3392 AD is good, so I'm interested in checking that out. And there's a Guy Ritchie/Andy Diggle series coming out soon that I'll be taking a look at. But this should be interesting to read.



The Train Was Bang On Time: An Episode From the Black Diamond Detective Agency - Eddie Campbell! I'll definitely get this one, and I'll be in line to pick up the GN when it comes out. Cool!



Gumby Special - I haven't read the latest Gumby revival (not really a fan of Bob Burden, for some reason), but I hear it's good, so I might get this. It'll at least be good to give to kids.



Comics Festival! 2007 - This one is always good, and it features contributions from the likes of Bryan Lee O'Malley, Hope Larson, and Darwyn Cooke! I'm there.



Marvel Adventures Three-in-One - After my recent foray into the lands of Marvel Adventures, I'm interested in this line. Plus Fred Van Lente, the Action Philosopher himself, is writing it. I might check it out.



Last Blood #1 - This one is vampires vs. zombies, in classic internet mascot feud tradition. It'll probably suck. (sorry)



Bongo Comics Free-for-All! 2007 - This one was terrible last year, so I'll probably avoid it this year. It's pretty indicative of the usual level of Simpsons humor (or lack thereof) these days. Avoid if possible.



Hunter's Moon/Salvador - Comics by Hollywood writers. Might be worth checking out.



The Umbrella Academy/Zero Killer/Pantheon City - Interesting new titles from Dark Horse. Gabriel Ba does the art on one of them. And a sweet cover by James Jean!



Lynda Barry Extravaganza - I've never been into Lynda Barry, so I probably won't get this. I don't know if I would say she's bad; I guess her art and writing just don't appeal to me.



Dyno-Force Preview - Wow, this looks bad. But that cover is hilarious! I can't help but smile when I look at it.
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There's other stuff, of course. But this stuff is what I'll be looking out for. Anybody have any opinions?

The Boys won't be the b--ah, you get the idea

I found this via the Howling Curmudgeons:

Newsarama reports THE BOYS has been cancelled:

Newsarama has learned that Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson’s Wildstorm series, The Boys has been cancelled by DC, effective with issue #6 of the series, which is currently on shelves. Issues #7-#10, as well as the trade collection – all of which have been solicited – will not ship.
DC declined to comment on the series or even confirm that the series has indeed, been canceled.

Well then. I guess somebody got offended. Bummer. Luckily, The Beat was able to get a statement from Ennis:

It’s become obvious to all concerned that The Boys should never have been published at DC, and to their credit they’re working hard to release the rights so that Darick and I can find the book a new home. We’re already looking at offers from a number of publishers, and plan to return with #7 and the first trade collection in a matter of a few months.
Thank you to everyone who’s bought and supported The Boys to date. I’ve gotten a real kick out of the response we’ve gotten over the first six issues, and I’m looking forward to getting stuck into the next fifty-four. Believe me, what we’ve got coming up will make #1-6 look like a quiet evening on Sesame Street.
One other thing: I want to say thank you to Ben Abernathy, Scott Dunbier and Jim Lee for all their help and support. Good guys, pleasant to deal with, never anything less than gentlemen. I’m going to miss doing the book with them.

So it'll be back, supposedly. We'll see. I did enjoy the first six issues, but they weren't perfect. Kind of a slow start, but I liked the concept and found the book to be pretty fun. All right, Ennis, let's see what you can do!

Parkerpalooza!

Well, Jeff Parker dared me to review some of his comics (I think), so here we go!
(as always, click on images to enlarge)

Marvel Adventures: Fantastic Four #5
Written by Jeff Parker
Art by Manuel Garcia



Hahaha! Check out that cover! Good juxtaposition, with Sue petting a cute baby dinosaur while the guys are being menaced by a big, ferocious one. So, the FF is at a public demonstration by a scientist who has invented the Geoportal, a device designed to instantaneously teleport people or cargo anywhere across the globe. The scientist has chosen a remote location in Antarctica as the destination of the portal's demonstration; unfortunately, he doesn't realize that the coordinates he's using lead to--



Uh oh! So of course dinosaurs start stampeding across New York City, and the FF have to clean up the mess. Reed goes to work fixing the Geoportal, which has become unstable due to the influx of dinos, so the others have to go do the roundup. There's some pretty good scenes, like Ben's continued attempts to haul a brachiosaurus in the direction it doesn't want to go:



Or Johnny doing a cowboy-style roundup:



Sue gets an idea to round up the carnivores:



She used the Fantasticard! I gotta get one of those. I'm also intrigued by how she uses her powers to sky-surf, Iceman-style. I don't know if I've ever seen that before. It's a cool (extreme!) idea for a book like this aimed at kids. So anyway, they round up the dinos and save the world. You know the drill. Fun! What's next?
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Marvel Adventures: Fantastic Four #8
Written by Jeff Parker
Art by Manuel Garcia



Sweet! I always dig an appearance by Lockjaw! As the story starts, the FF are attacked by a villain named Street while walking down the, um, street. He's a guy that got turned into a street, or something:



See? Reed manages to crumble him to pieces with a "cross-frequency modulator", but the device also ends up drawing the attention of--



Lockjaw! They explain who he is, so new readers (a.k.a. "kids") aren't too started by the appearance of a giant teleporting dog with a tuning fork on his forehead. Lockjaw, being a dog, chomps right down on the giant sandwich Ben just got from the deli (you can sort of see it in the above panel). Unfortunately, due to all the crazy ingredients Ben ordered, the sandwich gives him indigestion, causing him to teleport randomly, bringing the team along with him. They end up appearing in locations all over the world, including Egypt, the bottom of the ocean, and the top of the Himalayas. And we all know what you find in the Himalayas:



Yetis! Yikes! But eventually he manages to digest the sandwich, and they make it home, just in time to smash Street to pieces again. Again, a fun story. It's pretty slight, but a perfect little adventure comic that kids should enjoy. And I should mention that I love the way Garcia draws Lockjaw. He's big and weirdly-proportioned, but he still looks like a real dog, like in this shot of him right after eating the sandwich:



So, recommended! Next?
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Marvel Adventures: Fantastic Four #9
Written by Jeff Parker
Art by Carlo Pagulayan



This one features Klaw, the master of sound! He is introduced giving a good bit of exposition to nobody in particular about how he is a scientist who altered his molecular structure testing the military applications of sound waves. Also, how he used to be rivals with Reed Richards, and now, like any good supervillain, must destroy the Fantastic Four! He decides to divide and conquer, taking them on individually rather than as a team. First, he drops a building on the Thing:



Ah, now that's some good punnery! Then he shoots down the Human Torch while he's flying at an airshow with the Blue Angels. Continuing to work his way from strongest to weakest (in his opinion), he breaks into the Baxter Building and zaps Mr. Fantastic with sound waves. The Invisible Woman isn't as weak as he thinks though, as she uses her forcefields to smash him through the wall and out onto the street. Klaw then decides to create a creature made out of sound energy to attack her. She can handle that though:



Now that's pretty kickass. Girl power! Ben and Johnny show up, having survived their attacks (come on, you didn't think the Thing would be stopped by a building on his head, did you?), and the team works together to defeat Klaw. Another fun story, with a bit more action than the last two! You're 3-for-3, Parker. Can you keep up the streak?
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Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #9
Written by Jeff Parker
Art by Juan Santacruz



Here it is, the comic that caught the blogosphere's fancy. You could say that this is the real comic to break the internet in half. Take that, Bendis! I've been seeing pictures of that cover on seemingly every comic-related website since last summer. Or it seems like it, at least. But is it any good? Well, check out this image from the third page:



The Avengers are fighting M.O.D.O.C., which stands for Mental Organism Designed Only for Conquest (In the regular Marvel universe, it's MODOK, with the K standing for "killing", but this is the kid-friendly Marvel Adventures line, so it was changed to "conquest"), and they get captured. MODOC's evil plan is to force them all to undergo the process that caused his transformation, so they will understand why he is the way he is. Or something. The process goes wrong due to the incompetence of Karl, one of MODOC's henchmen, and the whole thing explodes. But the Avengers survive, transformed into the MOD Avengers!



Heh, that's the new character lineup for the book. They continue to fight crime, but they do it differently, as Karl explains to MODOC after watching the news:



There are a lot of funny details, mostly in comments about the team's goofy appearance. And their speech patterns become much more MODOC-like, with lines like "You are village idiots when compared to my gargantuan brain!" or "Though altered, my armor still manifested a force field to protect us. So you should all praise me!" Funny stuff. Later, they go up against Hulk's villains The Leader and the Abomination, mocking Leader for his subpar intelligence:



Then Hulk (excuse me, HulkDOC)'s chair gets smashed, and he ends up wobbling around on his tiny body and using his giant head to butt Abomination:



At one point, Wolverine gets knocked out, and I was really afraid he was going to wake up and find that it was all a dream. Thankfully, Parker spared us that cliche. It would have been too silly. Even in a story like this one! Instead, he finds another way to wrap up the story, and it's pretty satisfying. I don't know how much somebody who isn't familiar with these characters would enjoy this comic, but I found it to be great fun. I think kids would still enjoy it for it's goofiness. The plot really isn't that far off from something that would be on shows like "Johnny Test" or "My Gym Partner Is a Monkey". Again, fun!
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Well, Parker, that's it. You win. I'll have to pick up more of these Marvel Adventures comics when I get a chance. They're lots of fun. I think I'll have my wife take these into the school where she teaches so the kids can read them. I bet they'll be popular. See, I'm doing what I can to hook the next generation on comics!