Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Rip-Off Theatre presents: Things that would belong on Tumblr, if I knew what Tumblr was supposed to be for: Space-wasting memes, they are a diversion

This comes courtesy of the great Shaenon Garrity, with the following instructions:

All the animated movies in the world, sort of

- X what you saw
- O what you haven't finished/seen or saw sizable portions
- Bold what you loved
- Italicize what you disliked/hated
- Leave unchanged if neutral

CLASSIC DISNEY
-------------------------------
[X] 101 Dalmatians (1961):  I always liked this one, and as a kid, I though "Crazy woman driver!" was an absolutely hilarious line.  I hope I've become less sexist since then...
[X] Alice in Wonderland (1951)
[X] Bambi (1942)
[X] Cinderella (1950)
[X] Dumbo (1941)
[X] Fantasia (1940)
[X] Lady and the Tramp (1955)
[X] Mary Poppins (1964)
[X] Peter Pan (1953):  I loved this one as a kid, and there are parts I still get delighted when I watch (most stuff with Captain Hook), but damn, those Indians are fucking racist, aren't they?
[X] Pinocchio (1940)
[X] Sleeping Beauty (1959)
[X] Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
[ ] Song of the South (1946):  This one is so notorious, I just want to see it out of curiosity someday.

DISNEY'S DARK AGE
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[O] The Aristocats (1970)
[ ] The Black Cauldron (1985)
[X] The Fox and the Hound (1981): I remember kind of liking this as a kid, maybe? The farmer's pants fall down when he shoots, that's funny.  Plus, bear fight!
[X] The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
[X] The Jungle Book (1967)
[O] The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977): I have no idea if I've seen all of this.
[X] Oliver and Company (1986): Saw this in the theater (I would have been 7), don't think I've seen it since.
[X] Pete's Dragon (1977): I'm sure I saw this as a kid, but I barely remember any of it.
[X] The Rescuers (1977)
[X] Robin Hood (1973): Another one I used to love as a kid, but isn't actually all that good.
[X] The Sword In The Stone (1963): This one isn't bad at all, from what I remember.

THE DISNEY RENAISSANCE
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[X] Aladdin (1992): I was the right age when this came out/was on video to really like it and not quite be too old.  Man, I thought the action was awesome, Robin Williams was hilarious, and the music was good.  Not so much now, but it's still all right.
[X] Beauty and the Beast (1991)
[X] A Goofy Movie (1995)
[O] Hercules (1997)
[X] The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996): What a crazy, doomed-to-failure idea for a kids' movie. I should watch this again and see what it's like with the space of years.
[X] The Lion King (1994): Everybody loves this one, right? Maybe I saw it too much as a kid, but I'm thinking it was kind of boring.  It's probably on the other side of that "too old" line.
[X] The Little Mermaid (1989): I gotta say, I studied the scene where Ariel gets legs and swims bottomless up to the surface very intently as a young'un.
[O] Mulan (1998): Is this the first Obnoxious Eddie Murphy Sidekick Animal role?  That's most of what I remember about this one.
[X] Pocahontas (1995)
[X] The Rescuers Down Under (1990): I loved this one as a kid, for some reason.
[O] Tarzan (1999): The thing I remember most about what I've seen of this is the gruesome death-by-hanging of the bad guy. Tough stuff for a kids' joint.

DISNEY'S MODERN AGE
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[X] Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
[X] Bolt (2008)
[ ] Brother Bear (2003)
[ ] Chicken Little (2005): I hated this without even seeing it.
[X] Dinosaur (2000)
[ ] The Emperor's New Groove (2000): I've seen episodes of the spin-off TV show...
[X] Fantasia 2000 (2000)
[ ] Home on the Range (2004)
[X] Lilo & Stitch (2002): This one is pretty great, isn't it?
[X] Meet the Robinsons (2007):  I actually thought this was quite good.
[X] Treasure Planet (2002):  This, on the other hand, was kind of awful.

PIXAR
-------------------------------
[X] A Bug's Life (1998): So is this or Cars the accepted "worst" Pixar movie? It's still pretty good.
[X] Cars (2006)
[O] Finding Nemo (2003): This one's pretty good, and some people like it best, but I don't think I've ever seen it all the way through, and I don't feel the need to do so.  Weird.
[X] The Incredibles (2004)
[X] Monsters Inc. (2001)
[X] Ratatouille (2007)
[X] Toy Story (1995):  It might be nostalgia, what with seeing this at a time when I was outgrowing toys but still fondly remembering them, but I still think of this as one of my favorite movies of all time.
[X] Toy Story 2 (1999): I don't hate this movie, but I don't think I hold it in the esteem that a lot of people seem to.  It's a pretty good sequel, but not much more.  We'll see what I think when I get around to the third one...
[ ] Toy Story 3 (2010)
[X] Wall-E (2008) 
[X] Up (2009): This was great, but those first 15 minutes are what really stick.  Man, was there anybody who didn't readily admit to crying at that scene?

DON BLUTH
-------------------------------
[] All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
[X] An American Tail (1986)
[X] An American Tail: Fieval Goes West (1991)
[O] Anastasia (1997)
[X] The Land Before Time (1988)
[ ] The Pebble and the Penguin (1995)
[ ] Rock-a-Doodle (1991)
[X] The Secret of NIMH (1982): I remember liking this well enough, but when I read the book, I was pissed that they added a bunch of magic and shit.  Was this my first experience with a disappointing adaptation?
[ ] Thumbelina (1994)
[X] Titan AE (2000)
[X] A Troll in Central Park (1994): I saw this many more times than I should have, due to my little brother being obsessed with it, as young kids are wont to do.  It's kind of awful.

CLAYMATION
-------------------------------
[O] The Adventures of Mark Twain (1986)
[X] Chicken Run (2000)
[X] Corpse Bride (2005)
[ ] James and the Giant Peach (1996)
[X] The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
[X] Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)
[X] Coraline (2009): And here's an adaptation that might even improve on the original.

CGI GLUT
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[X] Antz (1998)
[X] Bee Movie (2007)
[X] Happy Feet (2006)
[X] Ice Age (2002)
[X] Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)
[ ] Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)[X] Kung Fu Panda (2008):  Not bad; there's some cool artistic stuff going on in this one.
[X] Madagascar (2005)
[ ] Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)
[ ] Monster House (2006)
[ ] Over the Hedge (2006)
[X] The Polar Express (2004): Wow, this was awful. A true adaptation would have lasted maybe 15 minutes, if you stretched it out, so they added a bunch of noisy, stupid nonsense. Painful to sit through.
[X] Robots (2005)
[X] A Shark's Tale (2004)
[X] Shrek (2001): People sure loved this when it came out, didn't they, like it was some sort of amazing combination of adult and kid humor, but it was actually rudimentarily-animated kiddie shit with a few slightly-dirty jokes and cultural references thrown in, back when CGI was new enough to seem fancy.  I don't hate it, but goddamn was it overrated, and each sequel just got more tiresome.
[X] Shrek 2 (2004)
[X] Shrek The Third (2007)
[ ] Shrek Forever After (2010)
[X] Monsters vs. Aliens (2009): This wasn't half bad, mostly by not being flat out terrible.

IMPORTS
-------------------------------
[ ] Arabian Knight (aka The Thief and the Cobbler) (1995): I'd really like to see this, any version.
[ ] The Last Unicorn (1982)
[ ] Light Years (1988)
[X] The Triplets of Belleville (2003): Goddamn, this is a really fucking good movie.
[X] Persepolis (2007)
[X] Waltz With Bashir (2008): I liked this one a lot; good, serious animation for adults.  It's like them comical books I always talk about.
[ ] Watership Down (1978)
[ ] When the Wind Blows (1988)
[X] Wonderful Days (2003): Korean anime-style sci-fi; I remember it being decent.
[X] Yellow Submarine (1968)

STUDIO GHIBLI/MIYAZAKI
-------------------------------
[X] The Cat Returns (2002): Pretty cute and fun.  Cats!
[X] Grave of the Fireflies (1988): Devastating.
[X] Howl's Moving Castle (2004): As good as most of these.
[X] Kiki's Delivery Service (1989): Gotta love the girly stuff.
[X] Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1986): Fun adventure, with a surprising amount of violence.
[X] Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979): Not a bad beginning.
[ ] My Neighbors The Yamadas (1999)
[X] My Neighbor Totoro (1993): I love the gentle atmosphere here.
[X] Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984): An even better start.
[X] Only Yesterday (1991): I think I've seen this; it's not very memorable, unfortunately.
[X] Pom Poko (Tanuki War) (1994): Raccoon testicles!
[X] Porco Rosso (1992): Flying pig!
[X] Princess Mononoke (1999): Damn good, if you don't watch the dubbed version, which was full of horribly miscast celebrity voices.
[X] Spirited Away (2002): I think this is my favorite, but only barely ahead of all the others.
[X] Whisper of the Heart (1995): So, so sweet.
[X] Ponyo (2009): Nice, if simplistic.

SATOSHI KON
-------------------------------
[X] Millennium Actress (2001)
[X] Paprika (2006): Satoshi Kon will be sorely missed.  Damn, this was such a good movie.
[X] Perfect Blue (1999)
[X] Tokyo Godfathers (2003)

SHINKAI MAKOTO
-------------------------------
[ ] She and Her Cat (1999)
[ ] Voices of a Distant Star (2001)
[ ] The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)
[ ] 5 Centimeters per Second (2007): I really ought to see one or more of these at some point.

OTHER ANIME FILMS
-------------------------------
[X] Akira (1989): I've only seen this once, and I didn't understand it very well.  I should watch it again sometime, and read the manga.
[O] Angel's Egg (1985): Early Mamoru Oshii; I should watch it again and try to understand it.
[ ] Appleseed (2004)
[ ] Appleseed: Ex Machina (2007)
[ ] Arcadia of My Youth (U.S. Title - Vengeance of the Space Pirate) (1982)
[X] Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2003): A pretty darn good long episode of the series, although not reaching the heights of the best ones.
[ ] The Dagger of Kamui (U.S. Title - Revenge of the Ninja Warrior) (1985)
[ ] Dirty Pair: Project Eden (1987)
[X] End of Evangelion (1997): Ditto what I said for Akira (except the part about reading the manga).
[X] Evangelion 1.0: You Are (Not) Alone (2007)
[X] Evangelion 2.0: You Can (Not) Advance (2009)
[ ] Fist of the North Star (1986)
[ ] Galaxy Express 999 (1979)
[X] Ghost in the Shell (1996): This movie is awesome, full of cool ideas and great action.  I try to rewatch it every so often.
[O] Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004): I think I had trouble staying awake for this one; I should try again...
[X] The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006): This was recommended, but I didn't think it was all that good.  Kind of a low-rent Miyazaki, without a compelling hook and a boring character arc.
[ ] Lensman (1984)
[ ] Macross: Do You Remember Love (U.S. Title - Clash of the Bionoids) (1984)
[X] Memories (1995): A cool sci-fi anthology, with the highlight being Satoshi Kon's "Magnetic Rose".  The other parts are decent though.
[X] Metropolis (2001): I think this might have been my introduction to Tezuka; it helped me learn to love Mr. Mustachio.
[ ] Neo-Tokyo (1986)
[ ] Night on the Galactic Railroad (1985)
[X] Ninja Scroll (1993)
[ ] Patlabor the Movie (1989)
[ ] The Professional: Golgo 13 (1983)
[X] Project A-ko (1986)
[ ] Robot Carnival (1987)
[ ] Robotech: The Shadow Chronicle (2006)
[ ] Silent Möbius (1991)
[X] The Sky Crawlers (2008): Mamoru Oshii's latest, and it's kind of a snoozefest.
[ ] Space Adventure Cobra (1982)
[X] Steamboy (2004): Late-period Otomo; it's no Akira, but it's fun.
[ ] Sword of the Stranger (2007)
[ ] Unico and the Island of Magic (1983):  Tezuka! I really want to see this one.
[ ] Urotsukidoji: The Movie (1987):  The tentacle-rape classic; I wouldn't mind seeing it out of curiosity.
[ ] Urusei Yatsura: Beautiful Dreamer (1984): Mamoru Oshii adapting Rumiko Takahashi; I should try to get my hands on this one.
[ ] Urusei Yatsura: Only You (1982)
[ ] Vampire Hunter D (1985)
[ ] Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust (2000)
[O] Wings of Honneamise: Royal Space Force (1987):  This is supposed to be good, but I fell asleep watching it, so I wouldn't know.

CARTOONS FOR GROWN-UPS
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[ ] American Pop (1981)
[X] The Animatrix (2003): I think Shinichiro Watanabe's "Detective Story" was my favorite part, but there were some other really cool bits too.
[ ] Beavis & Butthead Do America (1996).
[ ] Cool World (1992)
[X] Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001): This was supposed to be a revolution in computer animation, but it ended up being a leap forward in boringness.
[X] Final Fantasy: Advent Children (2005): This was better, if only for superfans of Final Fantasy 7.
[ ] Fire & Ice (1983)
[ ] Fritz the Cat (1972)
[ ] Halo Legends (2009)
[X] Heavy Metal (1981): Stupid, but amusing in parts.
[ ] Heavy Metal 2000 (2000): This is supposed to be awful, but I'm curious about it, possibly just because of the original.
[ ] Hey Good Lookin' (1982)
[ ] Lady Death (2004)
[X] A Scanner Darkly (2006): Probably the best Philip K. Dick movie adaptation, with animation being the only medium to make the Scramble Suit believable.  
[ ] Sita Sings the Blues
[X] South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
[ ] Street Fight (Coonskin) (1975)
[X] Waking Life (2001): I fucking loved this when it came out, but I don't know if I would think it was as deep if I watched it again.  I'll probably still like the animation.

OTHER ANIMATED MOVIES
-------------------------------
[ ] The Adventures of Prince Achmed (1926)
[ ] Animal Farm (1954)
[ ] Animalympics (1980)
[X] Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon The Movie (2007)
[X] Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000): As a former regular reader of Ain't It Cool News, I remember there being a big uproar about this being censored because it was too disturbing for kids or something.  With a decade's perspective, it sure seems like a weird thing to get worked up about.
[X] Batman: Gotham Knight (2008)
[ ] Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
[ ] The Brave Little Toaster (1988)
[ ] Bravestarr: The Movie (1988)
[ ] Cats Don't Dance (1997)
[O] Care Bears: The Movie (1985)
[X] Charlotte's Web (1973)
[ ] Fern Gully (1992)
[ ] G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
[ ] Gobots: Battle of the Rock Lords (1986)
[ ] Green Lantern: First Flight (2009)
[ ] He-Man & She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword (1985)
[X] The Hobbit (1977)
[X] The Iron Giant (1999)
[ ] Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (2010)
[O] Justice League: The New Frontier (2008)
[O] Lord of the Rings (1978)
[ ] Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1992)
[ ] My Little Pony: The Movie (1986)
[ ] Pink Floyd's The Wall (1982)
[O] The Prince of Egypt (1998)
[ ] Powerpuff Girls: The Movie (2002)
[ ] Quest For Camelot (1999)
[ ] Ringing Bell (1978)
[ ] The Road to El Dorado (2000)
[ ] Shinbone Alley (1971)
[X] Space Jam (1996): Not even Bill Murray could save this one.
[ ] Starchaser: The Legend of Orin (1985)
[ ] Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (2009)
[ ] Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (2010)
[ ] Superman: Doomsday (2007)
[O] The Swan Princess (1994)
[X] Transformers: The Movie (1986)
[ ] Wizards (1977)
[X] Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
[ ] Wonder Woman (2009)
[ ] Balto (1995)
[X] Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002)
Conclusion: I've seen lots of Disney, CGI crap, and well-regarded anime, but there's always more to watch.  Must...consume...more...media...