Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Rip-Off Theatre presents: Things that would belong on Tumblr, if I knew what Tumblr was supposed to be for: Space-wasting memes, they are a diversion

This comes courtesy of the great Shaenon Garrity, with the following instructions:

All the animated movies in the world, sort of

- X what you saw
- O what you haven't finished/seen or saw sizable portions
- Bold what you loved
- Italicize what you disliked/hated
- Leave unchanged if neutral

[X] 101 Dalmatians (1961):  I always liked this one, and as a kid, I though "Crazy woman driver!" was an absolutely hilarious line.  I hope I've become less sexist since then...
[X] Alice in Wonderland (1951)
[X] Bambi (1942)
[X] Cinderella (1950)
[X] Dumbo (1941)
[X] Fantasia (1940)
[X] Lady and the Tramp (1955)
[X] Mary Poppins (1964)
[X] Peter Pan (1953):  I loved this one as a kid, and there are parts I still get delighted when I watch (most stuff with Captain Hook), but damn, those Indians are fucking racist, aren't they?
[X] Pinocchio (1940)
[X] Sleeping Beauty (1959)
[X] Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
[ ] Song of the South (1946):  This one is so notorious, I just want to see it out of curiosity someday.

[O] The Aristocats (1970)
[ ] The Black Cauldron (1985)
[X] The Fox and the Hound (1981): I remember kind of liking this as a kid, maybe? The farmer's pants fall down when he shoots, that's funny.  Plus, bear fight!
[X] The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
[X] The Jungle Book (1967)
[O] The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977): I have no idea if I've seen all of this.
[X] Oliver and Company (1986): Saw this in the theater (I would have been 7), don't think I've seen it since.
[X] Pete's Dragon (1977): I'm sure I saw this as a kid, but I barely remember any of it.
[X] The Rescuers (1977)
[X] Robin Hood (1973): Another one I used to love as a kid, but isn't actually all that good.
[X] The Sword In The Stone (1963): This one isn't bad at all, from what I remember.

[X] Aladdin (1992): I was the right age when this came out/was on video to really like it and not quite be too old.  Man, I thought the action was awesome, Robin Williams was hilarious, and the music was good.  Not so much now, but it's still all right.
[X] Beauty and the Beast (1991)
[X] A Goofy Movie (1995)
[O] Hercules (1997)
[X] The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996): What a crazy, doomed-to-failure idea for a kids' movie. I should watch this again and see what it's like with the space of years.
[X] The Lion King (1994): Everybody loves this one, right? Maybe I saw it too much as a kid, but I'm thinking it was kind of boring.  It's probably on the other side of that "too old" line.
[X] The Little Mermaid (1989): I gotta say, I studied the scene where Ariel gets legs and swims bottomless up to the surface very intently as a young'un.
[O] Mulan (1998): Is this the first Obnoxious Eddie Murphy Sidekick Animal role?  That's most of what I remember about this one.
[X] Pocahontas (1995)
[X] The Rescuers Down Under (1990): I loved this one as a kid, for some reason.
[O] Tarzan (1999): The thing I remember most about what I've seen of this is the gruesome death-by-hanging of the bad guy. Tough stuff for a kids' joint.

[X] Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
[X] Bolt (2008)
[ ] Brother Bear (2003)
[ ] Chicken Little (2005): I hated this without even seeing it.
[X] Dinosaur (2000)
[ ] The Emperor's New Groove (2000): I've seen episodes of the spin-off TV show...
[X] Fantasia 2000 (2000)
[ ] Home on the Range (2004)
[X] Lilo & Stitch (2002): This one is pretty great, isn't it?
[X] Meet the Robinsons (2007):  I actually thought this was quite good.
[X] Treasure Planet (2002):  This, on the other hand, was kind of awful.

[X] A Bug's Life (1998): So is this or Cars the accepted "worst" Pixar movie? It's still pretty good.
[X] Cars (2006)
[O] Finding Nemo (2003): This one's pretty good, and some people like it best, but I don't think I've ever seen it all the way through, and I don't feel the need to do so.  Weird.
[X] The Incredibles (2004)
[X] Monsters Inc. (2001)
[X] Ratatouille (2007)
[X] Toy Story (1995):  It might be nostalgia, what with seeing this at a time when I was outgrowing toys but still fondly remembering them, but I still think of this as one of my favorite movies of all time.
[X] Toy Story 2 (1999): I don't hate this movie, but I don't think I hold it in the esteem that a lot of people seem to.  It's a pretty good sequel, but not much more.  We'll see what I think when I get around to the third one...
[ ] Toy Story 3 (2010)
[X] Wall-E (2008) 
[X] Up (2009): This was great, but those first 15 minutes are what really stick.  Man, was there anybody who didn't readily admit to crying at that scene?

[] All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
[X] An American Tail (1986)
[X] An American Tail: Fieval Goes West (1991)
[O] Anastasia (1997)
[X] The Land Before Time (1988)
[ ] The Pebble and the Penguin (1995)
[ ] Rock-a-Doodle (1991)
[X] The Secret of NIMH (1982): I remember liking this well enough, but when I read the book, I was pissed that they added a bunch of magic and shit.  Was this my first experience with a disappointing adaptation?
[ ] Thumbelina (1994)
[X] Titan AE (2000)
[X] A Troll in Central Park (1994): I saw this many more times than I should have, due to my little brother being obsessed with it, as young kids are wont to do.  It's kind of awful.

[O] The Adventures of Mark Twain (1986)
[X] Chicken Run (2000)
[X] Corpse Bride (2005)
[ ] James and the Giant Peach (1996)
[X] The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
[X] Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)
[X] Coraline (2009): And here's an adaptation that might even improve on the original.

[X] Antz (1998)
[X] Bee Movie (2007)
[X] Happy Feet (2006)
[X] Ice Age (2002)
[X] Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)
[ ] Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)[X] Kung Fu Panda (2008):  Not bad; there's some cool artistic stuff going on in this one.
[X] Madagascar (2005)
[ ] Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)
[ ] Monster House (2006)
[ ] Over the Hedge (2006)
[X] The Polar Express (2004): Wow, this was awful. A true adaptation would have lasted maybe 15 minutes, if you stretched it out, so they added a bunch of noisy, stupid nonsense. Painful to sit through.
[X] Robots (2005)
[X] A Shark's Tale (2004)
[X] Shrek (2001): People sure loved this when it came out, didn't they, like it was some sort of amazing combination of adult and kid humor, but it was actually rudimentarily-animated kiddie shit with a few slightly-dirty jokes and cultural references thrown in, back when CGI was new enough to seem fancy.  I don't hate it, but goddamn was it overrated, and each sequel just got more tiresome.
[X] Shrek 2 (2004)
[X] Shrek The Third (2007)
[ ] Shrek Forever After (2010)
[X] Monsters vs. Aliens (2009): This wasn't half bad, mostly by not being flat out terrible.

[ ] Arabian Knight (aka The Thief and the Cobbler) (1995): I'd really like to see this, any version.
[ ] The Last Unicorn (1982)
[ ] Light Years (1988)
[X] The Triplets of Belleville (2003): Goddamn, this is a really fucking good movie.
[X] Persepolis (2007)
[X] Waltz With Bashir (2008): I liked this one a lot; good, serious animation for adults.  It's like them comical books I always talk about.
[ ] Watership Down (1978)
[ ] When the Wind Blows (1988)
[X] Wonderful Days (2003): Korean anime-style sci-fi; I remember it being decent.
[X] Yellow Submarine (1968)

[X] The Cat Returns (2002): Pretty cute and fun.  Cats!
[X] Grave of the Fireflies (1988): Devastating.
[X] Howl's Moving Castle (2004): As good as most of these.
[X] Kiki's Delivery Service (1989): Gotta love the girly stuff.
[X] Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1986): Fun adventure, with a surprising amount of violence.
[X] Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979): Not a bad beginning.
[ ] My Neighbors The Yamadas (1999)
[X] My Neighbor Totoro (1993): I love the gentle atmosphere here.
[X] Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984): An even better start.
[X] Only Yesterday (1991): I think I've seen this; it's not very memorable, unfortunately.
[X] Pom Poko (Tanuki War) (1994): Raccoon testicles!
[X] Porco Rosso (1992): Flying pig!
[X] Princess Mononoke (1999): Damn good, if you don't watch the dubbed version, which was full of horribly miscast celebrity voices.
[X] Spirited Away (2002): I think this is my favorite, but only barely ahead of all the others.
[X] Whisper of the Heart (1995): So, so sweet.
[X] Ponyo (2009): Nice, if simplistic.

[X] Millennium Actress (2001)
[X] Paprika (2006): Satoshi Kon will be sorely missed.  Damn, this was such a good movie.
[X] Perfect Blue (1999)
[X] Tokyo Godfathers (2003)

[ ] She and Her Cat (1999)
[ ] Voices of a Distant Star (2001)
[ ] The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)
[ ] 5 Centimeters per Second (2007): I really ought to see one or more of these at some point.

[X] Akira (1989): I've only seen this once, and I didn't understand it very well.  I should watch it again sometime, and read the manga.
[O] Angel's Egg (1985): Early Mamoru Oshii; I should watch it again and try to understand it.
[ ] Appleseed (2004)
[ ] Appleseed: Ex Machina (2007)
[ ] Arcadia of My Youth (U.S. Title - Vengeance of the Space Pirate) (1982)
[X] Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2003): A pretty darn good long episode of the series, although not reaching the heights of the best ones.
[ ] The Dagger of Kamui (U.S. Title - Revenge of the Ninja Warrior) (1985)
[ ] Dirty Pair: Project Eden (1987)
[X] End of Evangelion (1997): Ditto what I said for Akira (except the part about reading the manga).
[X] Evangelion 1.0: You Are (Not) Alone (2007)
[X] Evangelion 2.0: You Can (Not) Advance (2009)
[ ] Fist of the North Star (1986)
[ ] Galaxy Express 999 (1979)
[X] Ghost in the Shell (1996): This movie is awesome, full of cool ideas and great action.  I try to rewatch it every so often.
[O] Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004): I think I had trouble staying awake for this one; I should try again...
[X] The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006): This was recommended, but I didn't think it was all that good.  Kind of a low-rent Miyazaki, without a compelling hook and a boring character arc.
[ ] Lensman (1984)
[ ] Macross: Do You Remember Love (U.S. Title - Clash of the Bionoids) (1984)
[X] Memories (1995): A cool sci-fi anthology, with the highlight being Satoshi Kon's "Magnetic Rose".  The other parts are decent though.
[X] Metropolis (2001): I think this might have been my introduction to Tezuka; it helped me learn to love Mr. Mustachio.
[ ] Neo-Tokyo (1986)
[ ] Night on the Galactic Railroad (1985)
[X] Ninja Scroll (1993)
[ ] Patlabor the Movie (1989)
[ ] The Professional: Golgo 13 (1983)
[X] Project A-ko (1986)
[ ] Robot Carnival (1987)
[ ] Robotech: The Shadow Chronicle (2006)
[ ] Silent Möbius (1991)
[X] The Sky Crawlers (2008): Mamoru Oshii's latest, and it's kind of a snoozefest.
[ ] Space Adventure Cobra (1982)
[X] Steamboy (2004): Late-period Otomo; it's no Akira, but it's fun.
[ ] Sword of the Stranger (2007)
[ ] Unico and the Island of Magic (1983):  Tezuka! I really want to see this one.
[ ] Urotsukidoji: The Movie (1987):  The tentacle-rape classic; I wouldn't mind seeing it out of curiosity.
[ ] Urusei Yatsura: Beautiful Dreamer (1984): Mamoru Oshii adapting Rumiko Takahashi; I should try to get my hands on this one.
[ ] Urusei Yatsura: Only You (1982)
[ ] Vampire Hunter D (1985)
[ ] Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust (2000)
[O] Wings of Honneamise: Royal Space Force (1987):  This is supposed to be good, but I fell asleep watching it, so I wouldn't know.

[ ] American Pop (1981)
[X] The Animatrix (2003): I think Shinichiro Watanabe's "Detective Story" was my favorite part, but there were some other really cool bits too.
[ ] Beavis & Butthead Do America (1996).
[ ] Cool World (1992)
[X] Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001): This was supposed to be a revolution in computer animation, but it ended up being a leap forward in boringness.
[X] Final Fantasy: Advent Children (2005): This was better, if only for superfans of Final Fantasy 7.
[ ] Fire & Ice (1983)
[ ] Fritz the Cat (1972)
[ ] Halo Legends (2009)
[X] Heavy Metal (1981): Stupid, but amusing in parts.
[ ] Heavy Metal 2000 (2000): This is supposed to be awful, but I'm curious about it, possibly just because of the original.
[ ] Hey Good Lookin' (1982)
[ ] Lady Death (2004)
[X] A Scanner Darkly (2006): Probably the best Philip K. Dick movie adaptation, with animation being the only medium to make the Scramble Suit believable.  
[ ] Sita Sings the Blues
[X] South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
[ ] Street Fight (Coonskin) (1975)
[X] Waking Life (2001): I fucking loved this when it came out, but I don't know if I would think it was as deep if I watched it again.  I'll probably still like the animation.

[ ] The Adventures of Prince Achmed (1926)
[ ] Animal Farm (1954)
[ ] Animalympics (1980)
[X] Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon The Movie (2007)
[X] Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000): As a former regular reader of Ain't It Cool News, I remember there being a big uproar about this being censored because it was too disturbing for kids or something.  With a decade's perspective, it sure seems like a weird thing to get worked up about.
[X] Batman: Gotham Knight (2008)
[ ] Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
[ ] The Brave Little Toaster (1988)
[ ] Bravestarr: The Movie (1988)
[ ] Cats Don't Dance (1997)
[O] Care Bears: The Movie (1985)
[X] Charlotte's Web (1973)
[ ] Fern Gully (1992)
[ ] G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
[ ] Gobots: Battle of the Rock Lords (1986)
[ ] Green Lantern: First Flight (2009)
[ ] He-Man & She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword (1985)
[X] The Hobbit (1977)
[X] The Iron Giant (1999)
[ ] Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (2010)
[O] Justice League: The New Frontier (2008)
[O] Lord of the Rings (1978)
[ ] Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1992)
[ ] My Little Pony: The Movie (1986)
[ ] Pink Floyd's The Wall (1982)
[O] The Prince of Egypt (1998)
[ ] Powerpuff Girls: The Movie (2002)
[ ] Quest For Camelot (1999)
[ ] Ringing Bell (1978)
[ ] The Road to El Dorado (2000)
[ ] Shinbone Alley (1971)
[X] Space Jam (1996): Not even Bill Murray could save this one.
[ ] Starchaser: The Legend of Orin (1985)
[ ] Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (2009)
[ ] Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (2010)
[ ] Superman: Doomsday (2007)
[O] The Swan Princess (1994)
[X] Transformers: The Movie (1986)
[ ] Wizards (1977)
[X] Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
[ ] Wonder Woman (2009)
[ ] Balto (1995)
[X] Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002)
Conclusion: I've seen lots of Disney, CGI crap, and well-regarded anime, but there's always more to watch.  Must...consume...more...media...


  1. I have almost identical answers to you. Except I've seen a few more crap American animated films and a few less anime. But I have seen a LOT of these suckers.

  2. My daughter is still young enough that I'm not seeing every new cartoon movie yet, but give it time. Soon enough I'll be cringing through all the shitty Shrek and Madagascar sequels, and thanking God for every Pixar that comes along to vary the quality level.

  3. I've watched waaaaayyy too many...and I couldn't be happier. Cartoons!

  4. You REALLY should watch Sita Sings The Blues. I never like the presumption of saying "you need to" or "you have to" watch or read or listen to something...but if there were an occasion I'd want to say that, it's here. Sita made me feel the way I did when I first saw The Jungle Book and Yellow Submarine...and those were back when I was five and six years old!

  5. Wow, at first I wasn't agreeing with you at all, but then you said The Triplets of Belleville was fucking good, and IT IS. I just watched it about two weeks ago, and it was so awesome, I watched it twice in a week. It was even better the second time, mostly because I understood it a whole lot more. And the people don't talk much, so that's good.

    I love Lilo and Stitch, too, by the way. YEAH

  6. Allthemyriadways11/25/2010 10:15 AM

    "[X] Only Yesterday (1991): I think I've seen this; it's not very memorable, unfortunately."

    Considering the movie's focus on memory, I'm not sure if that's an intended joke or not (I certainly chuckled), but IMO it's one of Ghibli's top five films easily. Granted, it's an understated and quiet film so it might not leave an impression if it doesn't resonate with you at all, but memorable or not I'd like to pimp its quality as a film.

    You might be thinking of Ocean Waves (a.k.a. I Can Hear the Sea), which lacks much in the way of stand-out qualities and was a project by a group of Ghibli animation students.

  7. Hmm, maybe I did see the other one. If that works as a joke though, then sure, I intended it that way.